Couples urged to avoid Christmas flashpoint over kids

Divorced and separated couples are being urged to start talking now so they can avoid taking last-minute court action to gain access to their children this Christmas.

Tensions between divorced or separated couples often come to the fore at this time of year but it’s the children who are likely to suffer the most as they find themselves at the centre of a tug of war between mum and dad.

Family law specialist Catherine Wenborn, from Andersons Solicitors in Nottingham, says the most common dispute is over where the children will spend Christmas Day.

“Fathers who don’t see their children very often throughout the year want to make up for it at Christmas when they’re off work, but mothers can resent handing the children over at such a special time.”

Miss Wenborn, who’s a member of the Law Society Family Law Panel, said: “We often get calls from parents just a few days before Christmas asking for an urgent court application because their partner is refusing to co-operate. These kind of hasty actions aren’t welcomed by the courts and can create tremendous stress.

“Court action should only be a last resort. The best approach is to reach an amicable agreement, preferably weeks if not months in advance. That reduces stress and if it’s necessary to seek legal advice or mediation then it can be done in plenty of time so there’s no sense of panic which can often filter through to the children.

“Many parents agree to take turns in having the children over the Christmas period. Others have them for a few days each. It doesn’t matter how you divide the time up as long as it is fair and done in the child’s best interest.”

Miss Wenborn says it’s best to keep arrangements as simple as possible and avoid handovers on Christmas Day itself when children are likely to be excited and pre-occupied with their presents. “Parents should ask themselves if they want their children to remember Christmas as something magical or as a time of bitter conflict between mum and dad.”

Catherine Wenborn is Head of the Family Department at Andersons Solicitors. She can be contacted on 0115 988 6716 or email: Catherine Wenborn

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